I have been truly fortunate to receive first hand introductions to Chinese culture. Last semester when James announced his engagement I was thrilled at his invitation to attend. As much as I hoped to attend the entire ceremony I was unsure if the invitation extended to the ceremony as that is usually attended only by family and very close friends. When I returned this semester he confirmed his invitation and asked if I was interested in attending the ceremony. Was I ever! From start to finish – Grooms side.
Wendy arrived at my apartment at 7am to pick me up. We walked to another teachers home on campus where a car was waiting to drive us to James parents home. (They lived in an apartment across town.)
At James home preparations were in full swing. His parents greeted us warmly at the door and as the foreigner I always seemed to get a huge welcome. Wendy and I both got a red flower to denote we were part of the Groom’s wedding party. Each person in the wedding party received a flower. Those with specific titles had a ribbon to denote who they were.
The entire day down to the minute is meticulously planned. Numbers are extremely auspicious in China and as such events are planned to start at specific times. For example the wedding ceremony was to begin at 8:08 and we were to leave the apartment before 8:28. Wendy gave me the basic rundown for the day.
The ceremony officially starts with James announcing to his parents he is leaving to get his wife. He bows three times out of respect. The host in the middle is the announcer and mediator throughout the day. The bouquet James is holding is the brides bouquet. It is tradition that the groom gives the bride her flowers.
The announcement is then made to the grandparents of the groom again with three bows of respect. This is the groom’s family before departing for the bride’s home.
I don’t know the significance of covering the utility covers but if you ever see red squares on the ground outside an apartment you can bet there’s a wedding going on.
The groom’s party all ride in hired cars that have been decorated with flowers. The larger the party the more cars there are, the wealthier the group the more expensive the car! There were 6 cars in James procession all of which were Audi!
The grooms party fills each car. Wendy and I rode by ourselves in car #5. In the ride to the Bride’s home Wendy finally gave me my Chinese name!
As the procession was leaving the family set off FIRECRACKERS!! I always wondered what the sound was you hear at least twice a week. I’m not exactly on the West Side of Tulare anymore.
The tradition of setting off firecrackers is to ward off evil spirits. Trust me with the amount and decibel of those babies more than evil spirits were warded off.
The entire day was steeped in tradition. Wendy was my guide and translator. When James first knocks at the door he is refused entrance. The door is guarded by family of the bride. He must bribe his way into the house with red envelopes of money and sweets for the children.
Once he has entered he is guided to a table with his groomsmen to wait. He is presented with sweets and peanuts to snack on while he waits for a meal prepared by the bride’s family.
James was more than generous as he allowed me to join him at this meal. The meal was various traditional plates. The first plate to arrive made my stomach a little queasy but I ate it! It is the plate just in front of James, some sort of beetle. I have to admit it was tasty. Well anything crispy is tasty right? I’m still not a huge fan of squid though.
During the meal James and his party toast 8 times with traditional rice wine. This is when the drinking begins for the day and only picks up speed as it goes! I was truly grateful to be able to politely decline the alcohol. Wendy always had me covered with a quick substitute.
Once the meal is over the Groom goes to find the Bride. He knocks at the door of the room and is again denied entrance. When asked who and why he is there he responds he is the Wolf who as come to collect his bride. Again he bribes the relatives to let him in with Red envelopes of money and sweets. James had a hard time bribing the youngest relatives as they thoroughly enjoyed the excitement of holding the door shut.
Once inside the room the festivities continue. First James gave the Bride her flowers. The host then informs both the Groom and their Bride of their future responsibilities.
James then pins on a corsage and Bride Ribbon, making her the official bride. Next James must find her red shoes. One is hidden somewhere beneath the dress, which turns into an interesting hunt. The second shoe is hidden and held for ransom by the young relatives. Again as before it took some extra bribing on James’ part to achieve this step.
James then puts on the Bride’s shoes. The Mother and Grandmother of the Bride then feed the couple dumplings. It is customary for the groom to then carry the bride to her parents to pay they respect. James’ Bride wouldn’t hear of it and insisted on walking out herself.
The Bride and Groom pay their respects to the Bride’s family just as the Groom did to his, first parents then Grandparents.
James did insist on carrying her to the car!
The reception was huge. The reception started with James at the front. Speeches were made by family and friends. (Sad side note, the Bride’s family is not invited to the Reception. The Bride leaves behind her family to join her husbands.)
Wedding pictures are a huge part of the modern Chinese wedding. Each town has its hot spots for Wedding Photos. Weifang’s is the People’s Park in the center of Town. This step can take hours. I had a wonderful time tagging along chatting with Wendy.
The Wedding was beautiful and I was greatly honored James invited me to attend.
Adding Stamps 